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Aug
14
The 8 Things in our Control
By Almira Cambalon

by Kevin R. Foley, M.Ed., LPC

There is a belief that we can and need to control everything. Most Americans believe, we can control quite a lot. We want to control our kids, our spouses, and our jobs. We want to control our health, our finances, and our future. With control comes certainty, or so we think.

Control is a Myth

Why we would like to control the dynamics and possible outcome of situations, the reality is that we can't control much at all. When I work with my clients, during deeply personal and introspective time periods, they are the first to admit "there's very little I have control over." And it drives them nuts.

While the conversation continues, we realize the only thing we have control over is our response to the situation at hand.

What's up to Us

In his book, The Obstacle is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumphs, Ryan Holiday lists the responses that are in our control. He says what's up to us is... our emotions, our judgments, our creativity, our attitude, our perspective, our desires, our decisions, and our determination.

Control is a trick of the ego. We cannot control everything. We can control our responses to seemingly frustrating things in our Life Journey.

Mastering these responses often results in much less stress and self-control than ever before.

I talk much more about this in my upcoming book, IWAWO: Loving Your Life Journey.

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